How to give up on your dreams

Remember how I was going to be all epic and complete a worthy goal?
Well, it would be nice if you wouldn't. It turns out that somethimes, goals aren't meant to be kept. It isn't like goals are domesticated drones that are supposed to be house broken and dominated. Goals are meant to come and go and be forgotten in mid-February once you realize that changing your habits is hard and boring.
Needless to say, I have not run the distance of the Sepang International Race Circuit Course everyday for fifteen days.

But I did do some sweet things instead.

1) I bought a $5 bike on craigslist from a storage company that wanted to get rid of all the junk that had accumulated after people abandon it. It is a BMX bike that is worth over $100 dollars. Woo! So I'll tinker with it and fix it up and probably go crash a few times and then I'll sell it.

2) I got LASIK yesterday. It is really cool. The procedure was pretty terrifying. They gave me some Valium, so it might have been considerably less terrifying than it would have been without it, but it was still like living a nightmare.
Sticking rings around your eyeballs and suctioning them so you can't see or blink is not so cool. Smelling your cornea being burnt is also not so cool.
Seeing everything without glasses is pretty awesome. Everything is way sharper than I have ever seen anything before. Apparently your vision is kind of fuzzy the day after, and it peaks about a week and a half after surgery, but today when I went in they told me I had 20/20 in my left eye and 20/25 in my right eye, so it should only get better from that. Pretty cool stuff.
I just wish I could go back to every waterpark I ever went to before in my life and not have to find a place for my glasses before I jumped in.
I can snorkel and see farther than 15 feet.
I can ride on whirly whirly rollercoasters and not worry about my glasses flying off my face.
I can go do baptisms for the dead and see what the oxen look like.
I can stare at squirrels and make then spontaneously combust.

LASIK is so cool. Its the way of the future. (The way of the future. The way of the future.)

Except I look like a corpse today.
maybe it isn't so clear in that tiny picture.
I have huge blood vessels broken in my sclera. The optometrist said that it will go through all the
stages of a bruise. Which means I will have awesome technicolor dream spots going on. Purple, green, yellow, blue, brown, etc.

I can't wait.

15 days

remember how I made that sweet plan to run 100 miles before February 28th? I have to get back to doing that. I have 48.35 miles down.
I have 15 running days to get 51.65 miles run. That is 3.4433333333... miles a day for 15 days.

That's like, the entire distance of the Sepang International Race Circuit Course!
Every day!
For fifteen days!

But I am no sissy. Except for yesterday, when I was a sissy and didn't run or do any situps. I did some pushups though.
...63...

I want the reward pizza (digiorno stuffed crust supreme) more than the satisfaction of winning or achieving a difficult goal.
Maybe if I promise myself more prizes, I will be more motivated to go running instead of watching House and eating Oreo brand snack cookies.
Maybe my prize can be more Oreo brand snack cookies.

Yazidis

I went with the missionaries yesterday to teach a first discussion with a man they met. He is Iraqi, so they asked if I would come along. It turns out he is Kurdish and Yazidi. He and his family are some of the coolest people I have ever met.
I mentioned Yazidis before on this blog, but I don't remember where, so if you are interested in reading what I wrote again, tough nuggets. But they are pretty cool.
I was so intrigued that I spent a considerable amount of time during Property class today looking up Kurdish grammar and language structure on Wikipedia (the awesome but slightly briny fountain of knowledge).
His kids are cool too. They are from Mosul, and have lived in the US for about 13 years. The father calls himself Tom Webber, after an LDS bishop he met in Seattle. His real name is Khasim, but he likes to be called Tom Webber.
But Anna is calling me and she says the chili dogs are ready.

three day weekend

First of all, many congrats to Nathan concerning the mission call to Poland. I went there for a history trip my senior year of high school and I bought a switchblade, got a bloody nose, saw some missionaries, and went to a scary torture museum in Poland. Hopefully you will get to do all that and more. I'll bet they have some good cheap candy there.

It has been about a month since I have written last. A lot of it was because I had homework, but mostly I was lazy and unstructured. But tonight (now that it is 1 am) my mind is everywhere and I am probably not thinking clearly and so writing a blog post seems like really good idea.

I have a three day weekend now. All my classes for Friday are canceled, so I got a map of Lincoln and I am going to spend about 5 hours biking on some sweet trails just outside the city. There is a park with about 26 miles of singletrack mountain biking trail that I am going to go try out. I might crash, seeing as I will not be riding a mountain bike on it, but maybe I have skills that I don't know about yet.

Today the Nebraska Supreme Court came and heard oral arguments in our trashy law school auditorium. I snuck in a copy of The Worst Case Scenario Handbook and read it under the desk when I got bored. I also practiced my handwriting because there wasn't a whole lot else to do. We weren't allowed to bring in any laptops or else I probably would have played Tetris or Minesweeper.
I did get to eat lunch with the Court though. Students were allowed to submit their names on a sheet of paper and get chosen to come to this lunch by lottery, and they picked me. I was pretty excited, but I couldn't think of anything to ask, so i decided to just look forward to the food. I did end up talking to the Justice that sat at my table, and we talked a little bit about hawks killing other animals. I told him about the time I killed a falcon in Idaho and I realized it might not be an appropriate story when I was in the middle of demonstrating with my hands how the falcon swooped into my (meaning Lisa's. heh heh...) windshield, complete with whooshing and splatting sound effects. He just kind of nodded and I decided to not say anything for a few minutes to try and let him forget that I said anything at all. But he was a pretty cool guy. He told me about how his neighbor took lots of pictures of a hawk eviscerating a rabbit in his yard. I nodded and said "cool." It seemed like the right thing to say.

But man, fancy lunches are the worst. It was salads, but they had those big curling bread-chip things on top that you can't cut or stab with a fork. Those are awful and they don't even taste good. Mostly I reviewed every Emily Post book and Judith Martin article I had ever read to make sure I wasn't making a fool of myself.

Anyways, I've enjoyed reading all of your blogs over the past weeks.

uh.
bye? I don't remember how I ended these before.

Done

I finished all of my exams. They weren't as bad as I thought they were going to be, but they were still pretty rough. I kind of wonder why the only grades given are based upon the exams. It doesn't seem to have any purpose other than to be intentionally stressful. I don't feel like I learned the material any better than I would have if we had been given multiple exams, and I probably would have learned it better if we had. I was talking to Anna about it and she said that usually intelligence is shown by taking something complicated and making it simpler and easier to understand. My law exams were the opposite of that. All I am really saying is that I think I should be in charge of overhauling the entire legal education system in the United States.
But whatever.
So now I have almost a month to hang out and avoid diaper duty. We are going to the library today to pick up some books for the break. I have a list written of books I would like to read, but I left it on my laptop, and since now school is over and I have no real reason to turn it on, I am just going to have to try and remember what they were.
I remember one was that Hume Horan book about the state department. I am pretty sure it was called To the Lucky Few or something like that. But I already check and my libraries don't have it.
There is also a cool looking book that I read a review about called The Seven Spies Who Changed the World, but my libraries don't have that either.
I've already read all of the Tintin series (if you haven't yet, I absolutely recommend them. Apparently Herge put a whole lot of political undertones in the stories, but I never saw them. I just think Tintin is cool.)
I would like to read Kim by Rudyard Kipling. He has got some of the coolest stories. They are all very adventurous and frontierish. Kim is an Indian boy who works as a spy for the British. It is where Kim's game comes from too- you know, the game where you have a bunch of items on a table that you get to look at for a few minutes before it is covered up and you have to write down everything you remember? Actually, the Boy Scouts and Rudyard Kipling have TONS of connections, huh?
I started and I keep meanign to finish that Bushman joseph Smith biography. It is pretty good and now I have lots of time to read it. I think I'll put it on my list.
Maybe I will get a biography that looks cool. I often judge books by their covers.
If anyone has any really great book recommendations for me in the next few hours, I will look at the covers to see if I will read it. Thats pretty cool, right?

Also, I know I haven't kept ANY of my promises yet about prizes/poems/pictures/ice cream sandwiches/specialized blog posts. But I am a pretty honest guy. I will eventually get around to those.
It is like on my mission when I was standing by Syntagma Square (which is getting firebombed by the hipster revolutionaries) and a guy walked up to me and asked me if I thought keeping promises was important. I said yes, so he asked me if I would promise to read this book, Conversations with God, and then send him an email and let him know what I thought of it. I told him I would. Anna bought me the book to be funny two years ago, and I tried to read it, but it was just so boring. It was like the Little Prince (most boring book EVER) meets sophomore philosophy student. But It is still on our bookshelf and I still have the guys email address because I feel so guilty. Eventually I will read it and send him an email to get it off my conscience.
Speaking of running, I have this goal right now to get 100 miles of running in by February 28. There is a treadmill with a TV in the main office of our apartment complex about 40 feet from our front door, so that makes it easier. So far I have like 18... It might be harder than I originally planned for. If I make it, I'll buy myself a nice frozen pizza.
I wrote an english paper earlier this year for technical writing about frozen pizzas and I came up with some surprising results. Not really soooo surprising. Mostly, I decided that DiGiorno is good and California Pizza Kitchen Garlic Up-Chunk is awful. Tombstone was the best for the money and Tony's was third place overall. It sort of reminded me of elementary school pizza, and the nostalgia was nice. But DiGiorno Stuffed Crust Supreme was by FAR the best pizza. I think I'll get one if I can get my miles logged. It might mean I'll have to run over a lot of the break.

HEY!

Man.
Finals are rough. Or I would assume that finals are rough. I haven't really taken any yet. I am just studying for them. Tomorrow is my last day of classes officially. Really, I haven't had a class since the 25th. I've gone to class, but it has only been discussions about the finals and what to expect next semester with another class thrown in. I have my first final on Tuesday, then one of Friday, then Monday, then Wednesday. Then I am through. They are supposed to be about 3 hours each of essays. It sounds awful and I sure they will be awful. It is like the Klausuren I had to do in high school. We didn't have mid-terms or any important tests other than a 4 hour behemoth in each class at the end of the year.
I remember we had to fold our paper in half and only write on one side, which left a SUPER wide margin. That drove me crazy because not only was it hard to tell how much you had written, but it just looked so dumb.
SO maybe these tests will be better. We'll see.
Now, I would like to answer my own questions that I posted on my last blog. And also, I would like to announce the winner of the contest.
First the questions:

1) My favorite toy as a kid was probably legos (now I feel guilty calling them that, seeing as I know I should refer to them as LEGO brand bricks or whatever it was). I always wanted a fast Powerwheels. I still think those are cool. I would draw plans in sacrament meeting of clubhouses that had secret slides that would lead to secret garages with Powerwheels and miniature planes. Have any of you ever seen that Donald Duck cartoon where he makes a plane? I would dream about flying around in a tiny plane. I wrote an adventure story once about a guy named Jake (it sounded like a tough name to me) that had a helicopter that blew up and he got into a fast car but the exhaust pipe broke (the exhaust pipe was the only part of the car that I knew, and I wanted it to be accurate).

2) I usually do tell people that they have stuff in their teeth. I always feel so bad though. I get really paranoid, because I think people with food hanging in their teeth look ridiculous (except for you Becky. Probably your teeth are like teflon and nothing even could stick to them. Your food gets so ashamed at the thought that it chews itself in your mouth. Please consider that your certificate of achievement.) It is the sort of thing I always forget to check for. A lot of it might be residual paranoia after dealing with the whole braces-in-high-school thing. I often ate carrot sticks and celery for lunch and it was the worst to find out 3 hours after lunch that you had a huge orange clump of carrot woven through all your front brackets.
I think I should do a post on the merits of humiliation. Seriously, I have been humiliated so many times in my life, it is a wonder I even leave the house. About everyday at school I do something that would make the average person weep. Remind me to tell you the history of my pain.

3) Miss Manners is the greatest. I bet that I like her advice because when you goof up as much as I do, pretty much the only thing you have left to rely on is etiquette. Also, I read it to protect my shins for when I go home and eat with Mom at the table. Not only do I not slouch on the table anymore, Mom, but I know how to respectfully decline invitations to fancy parties without hurting feelings. Ha!

4) If I inherited $10 million dollars from a stranger, the coolest things I would buy would be a little house in Puerto Rico with an attached garage decked out with a workbench, welder, and bike related tools. Then I would go to art auctions and find some cool stuff. I think I would like to purchase old hand drawn maps and get them framed. I would also send you all the raffle prizes a lot sooner. And I would buy a Vanilla.

4.5) I think I would pay off all our school loans and then finish up here. I think I would still try to get a job. Or maybe I would just make my own work, like start a company. A consulting company. A consulting company for cool. I have no idea actually. I was hoping to hear about you all with this question. Pass.

5) My favorite scar is about an inch long on my right hand. It is below the thumb between my wrist and the first knuckle. it is pretty narrow and isn't really visible, but I like it. I got it after playing volleyball. We were using a bungee cord for a net and I took it down and pulled it back so that it would shoot out. I thought it would be funny. The end of the cord had a little metal clincher and it scraped my hand as it passed. I didn't even bleed that much and it didn't hurt either, which is a bonus.
I also like my sweet ankle scars where my stupid sandals cut me real bad and then we went to the dead sea and the stupid salt cauterized my flesh. I wasn't crying, but my eyes watered. Down my cheeks. A lot. But the scars look pretty cool.
My belly button is a nice scar.
I have another scar on my left hand in between my pinkie and my ring finger. It is about an inch long and looks like a frankenstein scar with the cross stitching. Apparently I slipped on some loose gravel when I was a kid. I only know the scar.
I also have a nice scar on my left hip. I left all of the drawers open on one of my dressers and i was stuffing clothes into it, when it tipped over towards me. I probably should have closed the drawers. There was a lamp on the top of the dresser that fell next to me and shattered. I felt ok and I wasn't hurt anywhere even though I fell backwards. I don't even think any of the drawers touched me. I looked down and saw a big section of the lightbulb sticking out of my abdomen. I pulled it out and then I think I started to cry and I'm sure my Mom put a bandaid on it or something, but nothing was wrong. It has left a little scar though. Where I was stabbed in the night.
Awesome.

So I will now declare the winner of the decider of the next blog post:
BECKY!!!! Man... you are like the guest star of this post.

I actually ripped up a piece of paper into little strips with all the names and shook it and picked one. I am in my study nook right now. I think I bothered the kid behind me with the ripping sounds. Also, I am typing a lot more than I would be if I were actually studying. I hope I am making everyone else nervous. Probably they are thinking that I am totally going to dominate them.

So Becky. What should the next blog be about? I hope you realize that you consented to the rules of the game when you made a comment so now the burden is on you for my next post. I should do this more often. I don't have to worry about thinking up ideas.

I would also like to say that it is icy here and I fell twice on my bike riding to school yesterday. The second time was in the school parking lot in front of at least six people. I need to learn to ride a bike better. It is sad because I am also the only kid that rides a bike with a helmet, so I look like I wear the helmet out of neccesity- like I would knock myself out if I didn't wear it. Whatever. Also, since the rear cog is fixed (which means I can't coast- it is like one of those BigWheels that little kids ride) I have to be careful that I don't stop pedalling. On more than one occasion I have hurt myself in front of people leaving and entering the main entrance to the law school. It is like I am destined to never be a symbol of smooth.

Becky

This is to convince our friend Becky that she should make comments on my blog. This is my public statement of discontent. Now, Becky, you have no excuse.

This blog is going to be a list. A list of questions that all you readers (ALL of you readers) are meant to read. You must pick one and respond to it in at least 3 words. Everyone who does will be put into a drawing to pick the subject for my next blog. Also, I have not forgotten the ice cream sandwiches, soap, cd, paint drawing, or limerick. Patience is a virtue that we on www.grandmasterchris.blogspot.com value highly.

Question 1) What was your favorite toy as a kid and what was a toy that you always wanted?

Question 2) If I had a piece of pumpkin pie crust in my teeth at a party, would you tell me it was there? What if we were in the middle of a conversation? What if it was someone that you didn't know?

Question 3) Don't you think Miss Manners has the best advice ever?

Question 4) If you inherited $10 million from a stranger, what cool thing would you buy? Would you work, and if so, what job would you do?

Question 4.5) If you didn't have to ever worry about money, what would you do all day to keep yourself busy (job/play/projects)?

Question 5) Tell me a bit about your favorite scar, won't you?

That's it. The winner will get to pick a subject for any blogpost they would like, and any extras in it (song/dance/talent show/Anna getting puked on by Soapy again). I don't even have to know you. If you found this blog by pressing "Next Blog" up at the top, that's cool. You can still win. Also, Becky will get a certificate of achievement if she will comment. What a deal!