At work today my coworkers told me that eating chili and cinnamon rolls was a common Nebraska thing. I gagged and then laughed because obviously they were playing the "let's gross out the temp" game. Except they weren't. Apparently cinnamon rolls and chili for lunch or dinner is a common and much beloved Nebraska thing. I don't think I will ever try to find out why. This is even after I ate the horseradish infused pickles, so I am no food sissy.
Also I am eating some sea salt speckled chocolate. It is much more delicious than I could have even imagined. It has chunks of rock salt mixed into %47 dark chocolate. I also bought some Ghirardelli but it isn't as good. This is all a part of my advent partying.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Monday, November 30, 2009
I can finally spend 15 minutes a day wasting time differently now
A nice list because it is a great medium to fill up space.
1) I ate some fruit gushers at work and had mixed feelings:
(a) They were delicious
(b) I was expecting a bit of a liquid explosion after reading the box for the past 3 days. It was more of a trickle, albeit a tasty one. A delicious puny dribble.
2) I like L.L.Bean catalogs for the future home decorating ideas. I am such a sap- I totally want to walk around in lambswool loafers and sip gourmet hot chocolate out of novelty mugs while I play deluxe L.L.Bean edition Scrabble. I also like reading knive catalogs and planning all the epic life threatening survival treks I might have to make across Canada.
3) Once in priesthood quorum I raised my hand to comment just to hear the teacher call on three guys named Chris in a row. I thought I was clever but I don't think anyone else noticed because no one offered me a high-five or a thumbs up.
4) I like art museums a lot and I fulfilled a life goal this summer of going to the Chicago Art Institute. I spent 8 hours inside and saw everything except for the dollhouse furniture and the miniature rooms. I was pretty sad about that. I wasted time on the performance art gallery when I could have seen miniature throne rooms from Buckingham palace and miniature great halls from Hogwarts. But it was a nice time and my legs were tired.
Also, the museum does not let you take ANY food or drink inside, even if it is an apple and a coke inside your backpack that you only want to check in and not even have access to for the rest of the day. I don't think my coke (which I was given for free on the street for some promotional thing) was going to go run upstairs and spray itself on the video of a cleaver hacking beef steaks, but the people told me I had to go outside and drink it. So I chugged it out of spite and burned my nose. And then I ate three apples and a granola bar.
But I think that would be my dream day- walk around art museums with apple juice and sandwiches. Or ride one of those Wal-Mart scooters with a shrimp cocktail. And it would be an even better day if the scooter had a tennis ball launcher from American Gladiator that I could shoot modern euro trash with. best. day. ever.
1) I ate some fruit gushers at work and had mixed feelings:
(a) They were delicious
(b) I was expecting a bit of a liquid explosion after reading the box for the past 3 days. It was more of a trickle, albeit a tasty one. A delicious puny dribble.
2) I like L.L.Bean catalogs for the future home decorating ideas. I am such a sap- I totally want to walk around in lambswool loafers and sip gourmet hot chocolate out of novelty mugs while I play deluxe L.L.Bean edition Scrabble. I also like reading knive catalogs and planning all the epic life threatening survival treks I might have to make across Canada.
3) Once in priesthood quorum I raised my hand to comment just to hear the teacher call on three guys named Chris in a row. I thought I was clever but I don't think anyone else noticed because no one offered me a high-five or a thumbs up.
4) I like art museums a lot and I fulfilled a life goal this summer of going to the Chicago Art Institute. I spent 8 hours inside and saw everything except for the dollhouse furniture and the miniature rooms. I was pretty sad about that. I wasted time on the performance art gallery when I could have seen miniature throne rooms from Buckingham palace and miniature great halls from Hogwarts. But it was a nice time and my legs were tired.
Also, the museum does not let you take ANY food or drink inside, even if it is an apple and a coke inside your backpack that you only want to check in and not even have access to for the rest of the day. I don't think my coke (which I was given for free on the street for some promotional thing) was going to go run upstairs and spray itself on the video of a cleaver hacking beef steaks, but the people told me I had to go outside and drink it. So I chugged it out of spite and burned my nose. And then I ate three apples and a granola bar.
But I think that would be my dream day- walk around art museums with apple juice and sandwiches. Or ride one of those Wal-Mart scooters with a shrimp cocktail. And it would be an even better day if the scooter had a tennis ball launcher from American Gladiator that I could shoot modern euro trash with. best. day. ever.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The secret athletic life of Anna
So, Chris guest-posted on my blog last night, so tonight I am guest-blogging on his.
However, I have noticed that there are two different types of posts I like to make. There is the regular post and then there is the bragging post. I like to call it the Bragalog. This post will be a Bragalog. Enjoy.
I thought I would write about my past life as an Ultimate Frisbee star. I don't think many people realize how hard-core and good I really was.
I started playing Ultimate Frisbee with some kids in church when I was in high school. I wasn't super good, but I was really fast and I could catch really well. After my first year at BYU I came back home for the summer and started playing every other day with some college kids I randomly met. I got a lot better. A lot. They started calling me Hero because I could catch anything. By the way, as far as nicknames go, Hero is not too shabby.
It wasn't till I graduated from BYU that I really became addicted. That's when I developed my awesome forehand (well it used to be awesome). I had a pretty good hammer throw as well and could sometimes be used as the teams handler (that was just some Ultimate lingo to impress you).
Looking back on it now I realize I spent more time playing ultimate than I would have spent at a part time job. From August 2003 to January 2004 I tried to play every weekday evening and every Saturday morning. It got a little tricky in the winter time because it gets dark early, but some other die hard players found a field that mysteriously turned on their stadium lights every night. We would all be out there in our sweats and gloves shivering and trying to play Ultimate. We played in the snow and rain and ice. I remember staying up all night once playing Ultimate just so we could play ultimate while the sun was rising.
Saturday mornings were always the best because, when I wasn't playing in the D.C. League, I was on the DC mall playing pick up Ultimate with all the rich, young yuppies. These were pick up games, but they were really intense. These are the games that finally convinced me I needed to buy cleats. I was slipping around too much. Man, I have to say, cool people play Ultimate. Like me. There is a whole culture built around that sport. I made a lot of friends over that time period. ost of them were from my DC Ultimate League team. Yawn. That's right, I was on a second tier league team. Our team name was Raze and we had our own jerseys. Cool, no? I am pretty sure we came in second.
Anyway, this is just to prove to you that even though you thought I was awesome because of my acute mental abilities, you now know that I used to be an Athletic superstar.
Also, I was on the crew team in high school. But we weren't good. I rowed starboard.
However, I have noticed that there are two different types of posts I like to make. There is the regular post and then there is the bragging post. I like to call it the Bragalog. This post will be a Bragalog. Enjoy.
I thought I would write about my past life as an Ultimate Frisbee star. I don't think many people realize how hard-core and good I really was.
I started playing Ultimate Frisbee with some kids in church when I was in high school. I wasn't super good, but I was really fast and I could catch really well. After my first year at BYU I came back home for the summer and started playing every other day with some college kids I randomly met. I got a lot better. A lot. They started calling me Hero because I could catch anything. By the way, as far as nicknames go, Hero is not too shabby.
It wasn't till I graduated from BYU that I really became addicted. That's when I developed my awesome forehand (well it used to be awesome). I had a pretty good hammer throw as well and could sometimes be used as the teams handler (that was just some Ultimate lingo to impress you).
Looking back on it now I realize I spent more time playing ultimate than I would have spent at a part time job. From August 2003 to January 2004 I tried to play every weekday evening and every Saturday morning. It got a little tricky in the winter time because it gets dark early, but some other die hard players found a field that mysteriously turned on their stadium lights every night. We would all be out there in our sweats and gloves shivering and trying to play Ultimate. We played in the snow and rain and ice. I remember staying up all night once playing Ultimate just so we could play ultimate while the sun was rising.
Saturday mornings were always the best because, when I wasn't playing in the D.C. League, I was on the DC mall playing pick up Ultimate with all the rich, young yuppies. These were pick up games, but they were really intense. These are the games that finally convinced me I needed to buy cleats. I was slipping around too much. Man, I have to say, cool people play Ultimate. Like me. There is a whole culture built around that sport. I made a lot of friends over that time period. ost of them were from my DC Ultimate League team. Yawn. That's right, I was on a second tier league team. Our team name was Raze and we had our own jerseys. Cool, no? I am pretty sure we came in second.
Anyway, this is just to prove to you that even though you thought I was awesome because of my acute mental abilities, you now know that I used to be an Athletic superstar.
Also, I was on the crew team in high school. But we weren't good. I rowed starboard.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Can November please end? Also, DANGER!
The danger was to spice up the title a bit. There is nothing dangerous about this post. I will be discussing how hard it is to blog everyday, quilting, quilting stores, and pie.
1) I am pretty sure I have told all of my good stories. If I think of any that I have not ever posted before I might add them, but frankly I think up what I am going to write about 10 minutes before I start typing. Not a whole lot of thought put into this, you guys. It is hard to be lazy and interesting. I am pretty sure there is no life lesson I can learn from this though.
2) We went to the Quilt Museum on campus. UNL offers the only Masters in Quilting in the world. Yeah! There were some cool things and it looked hard. And soft.
3) Anna and I went to Joanns and she bought quilt stuff and I got two canvases for a new hobby you guys! I have some acrylics. I figure painting can't be all that hard, so I will throw together a quick masterpiece and make a few bucks. Maybe I can plagiarize and live an awesome life of trickery.
It is likely that I will end up like that Israeli intelligence guy that sold information to the Soviets over 7 years back during the cold war for $31,000. He had a lot of debt from bad business ventures. I am thinking that a life of trickery is more like a life of ramen and kool-aid.
4) We had seven pies for thanksgiving and still have about 3 left if you add up all the remnants. I will live like a 6 year old king for about 2 days until my body starts rejecting sugar and I get beriberi. And then I'll have to eat lots of kale and bok choi.
Hey, thanks for getting to the end. I think I'll watch a show or something now. Lisa is still here so maybe we'll play a game.
1) I am pretty sure I have told all of my good stories. If I think of any that I have not ever posted before I might add them, but frankly I think up what I am going to write about 10 minutes before I start typing. Not a whole lot of thought put into this, you guys. It is hard to be lazy and interesting. I am pretty sure there is no life lesson I can learn from this though.
2) We went to the Quilt Museum on campus. UNL offers the only Masters in Quilting in the world. Yeah! There were some cool things and it looked hard. And soft.
3) Anna and I went to Joanns and she bought quilt stuff and I got two canvases for a new hobby you guys! I have some acrylics. I figure painting can't be all that hard, so I will throw together a quick masterpiece and make a few bucks. Maybe I can plagiarize and live an awesome life of trickery.
It is likely that I will end up like that Israeli intelligence guy that sold information to the Soviets over 7 years back during the cold war for $31,000. He had a lot of debt from bad business ventures. I am thinking that a life of trickery is more like a life of ramen and kool-aid.
4) We had seven pies for thanksgiving and still have about 3 left if you add up all the remnants. I will live like a 6 year old king for about 2 days until my body starts rejecting sugar and I get beriberi. And then I'll have to eat lots of kale and bok choi.
Hey, thanks for getting to the end. I think I'll watch a show or something now. Lisa is still here so maybe we'll play a game.
Friday, November 27, 2009
one time i threw up on a nice lady
I was a missionary and for thanksgiving 2004 I was invited over to a nice Ukrainian sister's house. She had made my companion and myself a great thanksgiving meal- i am sure it cost her a lot of money and she went to the trouble to make mashed potatoes, corn, and turkey. She told us to eat it all because she didn't even really care for American food. What a nice lady, right?
Well this young American certainly thought so. I ate and ate and we talked and had a great time. I was so impressed at how much i could eat. I should mention that before this dinner appointment I had eaten about a pound and a half of Phillipino ginger beef and rice because I didn't know we would be getting fed. Then we found out that we were going to get fed a LOT. In my defense we didn't get many dinner appointments and we tended to binge when we got the opportunity- stocking up for the winter and all that.
In any case, my companion and I (who just had a baby girl yesterday, by the way) had proven ourselves real heroes and had finished this great meal. We chatted for a little longer afterward and were getting ready to leave. My companion was in the middle of the prayer when I felt my guts give up. I knew I was not going to be able to keep all of this food inside of me. I abandoned his conversation with the Creator and started saying my own little prayer that I would at least be able to hold everything in until I got outside. Then I started thinking about the closest dumpsters and whether she would hear me retching. I was sure I had a plan that would work and I felt my gag reflexes ease up a little.
I was in the clear. I amen-ed heartily at the end of the prayer and held out my hand to thank the Sister quickly so we could get outside fast. As rocked forward to get momentum to get off the futon, I pinched my stomach and forcibly ejected 4/5 of my evenings' meals on her floor, her bed, her open bible, her sweater, her hair, and her. It was a steady stream that shot over 6 feet. I held up my hand in front of my mouth and deflected about half a quart onto my chest and filled up my shirt pocket. Everyone sat in stunned silence for at least 7 seconds before she leapt up and got a tupperware and I started moaning through my full cheeks and my companion started convulsing in laughter.
It was a humiliating 15 minute clean up and a long cold ride home. I am sure i was not a great posterchild for the Church that night. I looked like a drunken tourist. I ended up getting her a new bible and some candles and a rug from IKEA, but I don't think there is much I can do about barfing on her head.
And that was the most humiliating thanksgiving ever.
Well this young American certainly thought so. I ate and ate and we talked and had a great time. I was so impressed at how much i could eat. I should mention that before this dinner appointment I had eaten about a pound and a half of Phillipino ginger beef and rice because I didn't know we would be getting fed. Then we found out that we were going to get fed a LOT. In my defense we didn't get many dinner appointments and we tended to binge when we got the opportunity- stocking up for the winter and all that.
In any case, my companion and I (who just had a baby girl yesterday, by the way) had proven ourselves real heroes and had finished this great meal. We chatted for a little longer afterward and were getting ready to leave. My companion was in the middle of the prayer when I felt my guts give up. I knew I was not going to be able to keep all of this food inside of me. I abandoned his conversation with the Creator and started saying my own little prayer that I would at least be able to hold everything in until I got outside. Then I started thinking about the closest dumpsters and whether she would hear me retching. I was sure I had a plan that would work and I felt my gag reflexes ease up a little.
I was in the clear. I amen-ed heartily at the end of the prayer and held out my hand to thank the Sister quickly so we could get outside fast. As rocked forward to get momentum to get off the futon, I pinched my stomach and forcibly ejected 4/5 of my evenings' meals on her floor, her bed, her open bible, her sweater, her hair, and her. It was a steady stream that shot over 6 feet. I held up my hand in front of my mouth and deflected about half a quart onto my chest and filled up my shirt pocket. Everyone sat in stunned silence for at least 7 seconds before she leapt up and got a tupperware and I started moaning through my full cheeks and my companion started convulsing in laughter.
It was a humiliating 15 minute clean up and a long cold ride home. I am sure i was not a great posterchild for the Church that night. I looked like a drunken tourist. I ended up getting her a new bible and some candles and a rug from IKEA, but I don't think there is much I can do about barfing on her head.
And that was the most humiliating thanksgiving ever.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
i guess that really WAS me...
i am so embarrassed. but I don't want to post and this is an easy ticket out.
lollipops...
lollipops...
A real post from Chris
Hello. This is Chris. Not an impostor. I had such a great Thanksgiving with Anna. I love Anna sooooooo much. She is such a cootie patootie. Smoochy smoochy. Sure food was good, and chilling with the family was okay, but I could barely concentrate because of the hottie with the sweet body I married. Zowie! If only I was as smart and cute and funny (especially funny) as her. Also, she was an awesome liar when we played Mafia. Who would think that someone with such a sensitive and profound spirit would be such a mastermind at games as well? What a lucky fellow I am. I hereby promise to do the dishes forever. Also, I will clean up the bathroom every other day.
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