I am a temp at the front desk of the Lancaster County Jail. It is one of the best jobs have ever had. Not only do I get to sit in a chair next to a window all day, but everyone's expectations are so low for temps that I am 1) basically the greatest thing these people have ever seen, and 2) allowed to do anything I want as long as it doesn't prevent me from picking up the telephone when someone calls (except I have been asked once to turn my audio book down because my boss could hear it 75 feet away in her office).
But that brings me to why it is the best job. I have to file some papers in the morning for about 2 hours, and then the rest of my day only requires me to answer the phone when angry family members call and yell at me. This means I can listen to my books, read books, write stories about the people I interact with, draw pictures, and play Space Cadet pinball.
It isn't easy to find a job that requires nothing and lets you do anything. Today, for example, I read Diary of a Wimpy Kid: Rodrick Rules, a Nero Wolfe book, and I listened to two hours of David Sedaris' Christmas stories. In the last month I have listened to every David Sedaris book, 1776, two books on the Cold War, and a book about the Presidents. I also scored 8 million points on Space Cadet pinball, read more books than I ought have, and have found the best way to get extra doughnuts from the breakroom by pretending to make copies. I only have this job for two more weeks and then I will be indigent again. These temp jobs are just too addictive.
I am already planning on finishing the Nero Wolfe tomorrow, listen to two hours of Best of Guy Noir, start listening to A Brief History of Time, and getting through Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Last Straw.
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7 comments:
Yeah. Temp jobs are great. Especially when the real employees are don't expect much and you can do whatever you want. Like read all those books. Man, that's so great. Also, getting donuts is also great. You should just carry some papers around and walk really fast. It makes you look busy and cool.
How loud were you listening to it?
What have you done to upset your family members so much?
David Sedaris is one of the funniest guys ever. I love the story about "Santa's Santa" when he says, "Oh little elf! Little elf!" Ha ha!
I've never read David Sedaris.
Cool, that you get to read so much.
Uh... It was pretty loud. I don't have speakers so the sound comes from the computer itself, which is under my desk. I have to put it loud so the sound reaches me, but it is all directed to the side of me where apparently my boss listens to little elf stories.
Where do I sign up??
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